Readers send in questions and I answer them. Questions are posted exactly as how readers ask without any editing.
This question comes from Darius
Hey, after following you I really am starting to change my life for the better (since Feb 25th this year) & I wanted to say thank you 😊
My question is did you say after 90 days of conserving sexual energy that you will begin to transform into a better person or does the change start during the process?
Good question. The change starts on the first day. It starts the first second you begin to make a change but each day the change is more pronounced until it becomes obvious not only to you but to everyone around you.
Amar
It dawns upon me that this is one of those powers which come in different levels:
Abstaining from masturbating for me makes a difference already for the next 2 days because I have more “astringency”, meaning I don’t loose so much energy all over the place.
But I read also in a yoga book that some additional changes would occur if someone contained it for a dozen of years and here is a video from another source about it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4SQuilW1kA
12 years is of course out of reach for most amongst us, but we can start to walk on that path and then continue to walk on it for as long as we can.
Here something else for you to embed in another one of your articles:
Jaja Wallace
I agree, abstaining from masturbation and sex can make you stronger in every way and improve all aspects of your life.
It’s also important to note that different types of masturbation produce different results. If a man learns how to separate ejaculation from orgasm he can masturbate without losing energy. Instead of ejaculating his energy he circulates it within himself and becomes stronger. The man who masters this type of masturbation receives similar benefits to the man who is celibate.
Thank you for these videos they are gems. I also checked out a few of the other videos on the channel, I love how concise they are.
Amar
Yeah, the videos are gems, because the guy turns only master’s wisdoms into vids.
About Sex:
Recently I came up with this new sex-game like if the urge is so strong to masturbate than at least to do it wihout focussing on a woman – this is actually more difficult than you think.
Your approach is also absolutely accurate – the daoist one of conserving Jing – mine is less concerned with that (although I agree with it) but I tried to solve that issue from a spiritual perspective, asking myself:
“What is it that makes me so attracted to hot chicks?”
I tell you, doing SCK I now can even be exposed to porn (since the web is full of that aggressive crap) and even look at a woman but focus on her face and whether she would be compatible with me and the answer is nearly always: Physically attractive but spiritually incompatible.
Also Sivananda explains here really well how entangled we are even when already walking the path, like if you were in retreat with an attractive woman it would be likely you get deviated again – I certainly would even though I am older than you:
(You probably saw that already, because I posted it once)
https://youtu.be/F0Vnn39qrfw
I have to watch that again, because he really says that you have to withdraw and I think that is what is happening right now in my blog.
The blog was my last connection to the outer world but even there I felt unfulfilled because no one did walk that difficult path with me, so insead of inspiring others the doubters did drag me down.
Worldly entanglement wanes in layers: We still have our hopes to be successful here or there or to find that perfect compatible woman but as for me – step by step I come to the conclusion to keep walking my path because that is all I can guarantee- worldly success is not, neither is any other person whom I would depend on if I loved that more than myself.
I guess on a high level those issues don’t matter anymore.
And maybe that’s why the wise one are so concise, because they are not entangled in specific worldly issues anymore.
Btw: I also answered you in detail to your comment in my blog (in case you missed it because this wordpress system is set up in the stupid way that even a subscriber has to check that “notify me” box.
Jaja Wallace
Have you ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where Gorge stops having sex and his magnetism, memory and intelligence increases? He starts to get everything he wants and then he has sex and starts to lose everything. I don’t know the episode number, here’s a short clip of it, there was a longer clip on YouTube about 15 minutes but it must have gotten taken down. The full episode is very interesting.
Amar
ah, forget my last line: I just read your lovely response – thank you!
Amar
That’s hilarious 🙂
I think that’s also the reason why magicians always use attractive assistant ladies, because they distract us.
I observed that even without the physical aspect I loose so much energy looking at literally each woman first cinsidering if I could have sex with her.
I am ridiculous (but at least I admit it 😉
The only thing I want to add is that I believe that suppressing sex alone is not the answer, because it is like pushing a ping-pong ball under the water, and you see in cardinals and gurus what happens as soon as their dogma is lifted for a second – it pops up twice as high.
My path is to holistically get to that stage of seeing the personality behind the body for which I use meditation and also a lot of honest reflection about myself. Some call that personality-work, and others feeling-work.