Facing Reality When Your Partner Leaves

The breaking up of a relationship often feels like losing part of oneself. If you are not strong the loss will drown your life. When your beloved is gone everything will remind you of her.  Silence is now the absence of her reassuring voice, cold is the absence of her warmth and solitude is the absence of her presence. The once warm and inviting bedroom feels like a wasteland. The loneliness is a hole in your heart.

Living in regret will not bring back your beloved.

The first and most difficult step in healing is facing the reality that your partner is gone. People who are afraid to accept this reality waste their days fixated on someone who has moved on. Although the temptation to fantasize about your partner might be strong do not succumb. Illusion keeps your mind in a trance while your life wastes away. Each day of fantasizing is a day that could be spent doing something healing. You cannot fantasize forever; one day reality will bite and you will not be prepared.

Time Alone

Do not to rush into a new relationship. Take time to compose yourself.

Your partner might have been the center of your world and your only source of happiness. The time alone is an opportunity for self love and discovering other things that bring you joy. You might not  have felt the need to explore these things while with a partner.

Analyze Don’t Fantasize

After a breakup many people obsessively think about what could have been, what should have been and what was. The stories that play out in their minds are a mixture of fact and fantasy. Fantasy feels good but it is insidious; facing reality might hurt but it’s necessary for healing.

Analyze your relationship and figure out what caused the separation. Be willing to admit if any of it was your fault. Learn from your mistakes and promise never to repeat them in the next relationship. Create a clear idea of what you want for the future and create the steps to getting there.

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