I was once like a tireless artificial intelligence that replied to every comment and invested hours of energy into trivial conversations trying to explain myself. I was not complete until every question, criticism and disrespectful remark aimed at me was settled. Replying to everything was exhausting and solved nothing. It took serious examination of my past conversations to notice the negative patterns. Experience has made me realize that keeping my mouth closed is sometimes best.
Your Life Your Truth
Publicly voicing your views defines you to the world while pulling kindred spirits into your life. The only individuals obligated to explain and defend their perspective are the ones who force it upon others. Everyone else should be free to speak in her own space. People who do not impose their views on others may respond when challenged if they choose to do so. My folly was not being able to realize when an explanation was not worth my time.
A major change I made was to not respond to disrespect. A soft answer turneth away wrath but even a soft answer to disrespect dignifies it by making it relevant. The best defense I have found against disrespect is to speak my truth even louder and ignore it. The next time someone tries to bring you down just ignore him and keep going. Let people realize that they cannot slow you down with degrading words. Parasites, trolls and energy vampires have mastered the art of using words as bait. They thrive off debates and arguments. Letting go and ignoring the naysayers brings psychological relief.
Avoiding The Conflict
Knowing you should hold your tongue is easy but remaining silent takes discipline. Sometimes we still reply to people after receiving intuitive warnings not to entertain an argument with them. When the conversation ends we feel disgusted and regret disobeying our intuition.
When your views are challenged listen keenly and try to see the other perspective. Seemingly innocent questions may be used as bait to draw you into conflict. However, sometimes a question has no sinister agenda behind it even though it may arouse discomfort.
Paying attention to body language, tone and diction can help us see the motives of individuals that challenge our truth.
Reviewing past conversations and arguments can help us to spot the flaws in our behavior and safeguard us from future conflict. We can see when we overreacted or when we should have remained silent. Reflecting on past exchanges teaches valuable life lessons although this may be painful or even embarrassing.
Mindfully observe challengers of your truth to determine if you should respond or remain silent. Do they begin by being aggressive, disrespectful, curious or neutral?
Drop the need to prove yourself and be light as a feather. Always remember that you have the power to end a conversation anytime.